Is There a God?

It is a haunting question for those of us who believe, but it must be asked. Here follows just one reply;

Not long ago I had lunch with a dear friend, someone I have known since seminary days. We have always been able to be honest with one another and our friendship runs very deep. Near the end of our time together, my friend became somewhat reflective and began to lament the fact that some of his friends have been dying off. And he also began to tell me of his own thoughts in facing his mortality. He has fought depression for many years and there was a time for some silence between us.

I responded; “You do know that there is a God?”

“Ah well, sometimes I wonder!”

I continued; “You do know that there is a heaven?”

“Ah well,” said he, “I do not have the faith you have.”

Faith was an early gift for me as most of you will no doubt know. When I lost my dad at an early age, I was forced into a decision as to whether there is a God and whether there is a heaven. I was guided by my grandmother to the kind of “Yes!” that has led to my priesthood and to this very day. God’s “Yes!” and my “yes” in reply.

But there are people who suffer. In fact we have some right here at St. John’s at this very moment. The suffering may be of a minor sort that requires day surgery, or something more serious like the loss of independence; a serious loss for very independent Yankee sorts, or the loss may be of the final sort that we all ultimately face.

That’s why I always come back to those two great question; “Is there a God and is there a Heaven?” And if there is, how can I know its true?

The first way to know anything about God is through human love. Jesus himself made it clear; “Love God and love one another; that is the sum and total of Law and the Prophets.”

As I plum the depths of my soul in all my hopes and all my fears, here is where my heart settles itself; I have come to know God because someone loved me first. In my case it was my grandmother who came to my rescue. She made it clear to me that there is a God, there is a heaven and the way to know it is so is through the love God has sown into our hearts.

And then I learned to pass it on to my wife, my children, my congregations, the neighborhoods where I have served, the poor, the hungry, the homeless and so on, and so on. This is because they all loved me. There is no limit to the love God pours into our hearts and through our hearts to others.

Through my years as a parish priest, I have spent a good many hours in hospitals and nursing homes, on the telephone and in my office, sharing the love that God shares with me.

I cannot begin to tell you how many times I’ve entered a hospital room to tears of gratitude and hope. All I have to offer is a smile, a hug, a prayer and a blessing, but somehow this will suffice.

I can also tell you that there are times I entered a hospital room just as a matter of course, and the patient might say; “Oh my God, I didn’t think it was that bad!”

Alas it is just what a priest will do, to make his or her rounds at times when the questions arise?

Suffering?

God?

Heaven?

And the only answer I have is the love of God. And the only pathway I know to the love of God is through human love. And the only way that I can see God is through the love I bear toward my dad, my grandmother, my mom, and hundreds and hundreds more who are gone from us here; I love you all. I miss you all.

Sometimes, when I say my prayers, take my walks, or lay awake at night in contemplation, I think of those living and gone toward God, as I think of them, love and joy fills my heart. Those who first loved me, I now love because God loves us all. We are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses!

The dividing line between us is broken by such love. The dividing wall between Jews and Gentiles, Slave and Free, Male and Female, the living and the dead. All these dividing walls are broken by the love of God in the person of Jesus Christ, as we see it in Christianity. Only the love of Jesus can break the dividing wall between the races, the rich and the poor, the genders and so on.

My friend with whom I had lunch happens to be gay, as was my uncle as are two of my children. Finally, finally, the dividing wall between those of the LGBTQ community and the rest of us is also broken by this love. My uncle has been waiting for this day, even though he is long gone.